Insecurity spoils relationships. Insecurity drives people to become too ‘clingy’ or needy and this creates problems. Feeling insecure in a relationship is natural up to a point, at least until the relationship settles. So many people in relationships find themselves in this tangle. However, it is a kill joy in every relationship. How to you expect your partner to be happy in your relationship when you always compare him/her to your ex and also sneak up on him/her when you get the chance? Well like I said before, it is a very bad behavior which should never be entertained. Here are things to do to overcome it
Stop confusing imagination with reality.
Making stuff up and then believing it is a sure-fire way to self-torment. The insecure flyer will hear the normal mechanism of the air conditioning and twist it within their imagination to signify impending doom via crash and burn. They’ll imagine the bored look on an air steward’s face to be barely concealed terror because, “He must know something we don’t!” The over-imaginative flyer may even fantasize the sound of the landing gear coming down is an engine falling from the plane. They scare themselves by assuming what they imagine represents reality.
Talk to your partner about your insecurities. Let him know what types of behaviors make you feel insecure, and that you want to overcome this problem. Discussing this with him will make you feel better and it will let him know that certain behaviors, which might not seem like a big deal to him, make you question his commitment to the relationship.
Stop comparing current relationships to past ones. Have you ever taken an instant disliking/liking to someone merely because they reminded you of someone else who you disliked/liked? Some people do this with whole relationships. Because they were in a relationship with someone who was abusive, very critical or dishonest, or who left them, they respond to a new partner defensively or angrily when, in fact, the new partner is not really like the old one at all.
Avoid snooping around. Don’t let insecurity turn you into a sneaky person. If your girlfriend has a male friend that makes you feel insecure (he might be very good looking or intelligent), avoid snooping around and playing back his voicemail messages to her, for example. If you listen to something without knowing its proper context, you could be setting yourself up to feeling a lot of confusion and unnecessary distress. Also, you don’t want to come across as a snoop.
Remember that you are not a mind reader. If you live in constant fear that your partner simply isn’t that interested in the relationship, stop trying to be a mind reader. This can only lead to driving you absolutely insane. Instead of predicting the feelings of your partner, ask her. Although asking her straight out might hurt if you don’t get the answer that you want, it might also be able to save you a lot of time.
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Author: Akosua Sekyewaa Oduro
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